One of the biggest concerns that comes up in coaching is relationships. Often the conflict or trouble in that area of our lives can drive us into a search for additional support and growth.
Conversations about relationships often start with what we call the “blame game” - “He doesn’t do this.” “She does that.” “They just don’t understand.”
The initial focus is on someone else and their behavior. Unfortunately, while it is common (and often understandable) for us to blame someone else, it gives all the power to the other person and we are left with none. If we are pointing the finger elsewhere, we are a victim and as such, are powerless to change.
The first magical step in shifting our relationships is through ownership and accountability for everything in our lives, including the relationships that are not working. We take the stance that everyone has a contribution to each interaction and our place of power is in “owning” that responsibility.
When we operate under the idea that we have a part in each situation, we become a co-creator and as such find ourselves suddenly invigorated with the power to change. What we find is there are ways we are inadvertently creating or contributing to interactions we do not want or enjoy in our lives, even if it’s as simple as choosing to spend time around a toxic energy. Through effective coaching and looking at what we do have control over, rather than what we don’t, the relationships in our lives magically evolve with our shifting perspective.
“How did I help create this situation?” “Who am I being in this relationship?” “What do I want to experience with this person?”
Are great questions to begin the process of designing, rather than reacting to, our relationships. If you are interested in improving your life through coaching, set up a free call with Emily at https://InnerLife.as.me/DiscoverEmily today!!